Wednesday, October 12, 2011

No Control Mantra

Hi All,

I’ve been wanting to tell you a bit more about the audio file I created for myself. As I already mentioned, it’s done with a voice synthesizing program that converts text to speech. The voice is female – the only voice my company bought a license for – but that’s perfect for me.

This entire project was put together very quickly – in a matter of hours. Right down to coming up with the script. So it’s not perfect. It’s probably not even good. But I created it for me, and I like it a lot.

Whenever I get a chance to “play” I try to go as incontinent as possible. As an aide to getting my mind and my body into this mode, a long time ago I unconsciously came up with a little mantra for myself. What I would do was to lie down, either on the couch or my bed, and try to relax my body as much as possible – especially the muscles that control both my peeing and my bowel movements (sphincter muscles). Those are really my primary area of concentration, but the rest of my body goes along with it.

Over and over again I tell myself slowly to relax… relax. And with each repetition, I strive to relax those muscles more and more and more. It’s amazing what levels you can reach if you keep going. Eventually, even though it’s not really happening, it almost feels like my asshole is getting wider and wider. Amazingly! But that’s really just the sensation I get.

Along with telling myself to relax… relax… over and over again. I keep reminding myself that I’m not going to control my peeing (or anything else). Hence, I keep reminding myself with: No control… no control. Over and over during the day, anytime I notice myself holding back even the slightest bit, I remind myself with a few mental repetitions of no control… no control… and relax… relax… until I make sure that I’m not holding back at all. Relax… Relax… No control… No control…

So anyway, along comes this little voice synthesizer “toy” and I figured it might be nice to try recording my little mantra over and over again and have it played in my mind while I go through my relaxation phase after diapering up after work. So I immediately started in on the project. But early on, I got this other idea to start putting little tiny suggestions into it to help me towards my goal. So now I needed a script. So I started writing – quickly. I tried to keep each idea very short and always followed up by part of the mantra. I think I may have gone a little astray in places because I added way more than I figured I would. But I had to add it – because for some unknown reason, I had developed a rhythm to the words in my head that had to be followed. Parts of it almost became poetry. Unfortunately, the voice synthesizer totally ruined any and all traces of that, but it still works wonderfully for me.

So for anyone who is interested, here is the entire script of my No Control Mantra.

Oh, and for Dani, thanks for asking for a picture of the shoes. I’m hoping to play with the camera tonight again.

Stay happy everyone, and keep smiling. Please!
Karen


No Control Mantra Script


You are listening to this file because you want to pee, uncontrollably.

This file will simply help you to relax your body to help you let that happen.

If you feel the need to pee during this file, then that is fine. Let it happen.

That is what you want after all. If you feel the need to pee, don't hold back at all.

Simply let it happen, and enjoy it. That is what you are after.



Every time you hear the word relax in this file, you should try to relax your entire body more and more, constantly searching for deeper levels of relaxation.

Always striving to go deeper and deeper, more and more relaxed.

That's all you have to do, simply strive to relax more and more, every time you hear the word - relax.

So get yourself comfortable. Sit down or better still, lay down.

Listen to my voice. Concentrate on my voice. And concentrate on how your body feels and how relaxed your entire body is.



Relax. Relax. Close your eyes, and relax.

Feel your body relax. No control. Relax more and more. Relax. No control. No control. Relax. Relax.

With each breath you take, relax more and more. More and more relaxed. Relax.

No control. No control. Relax. No control.

Every time you breathe in, your body relaxes more. Every time you breathe out, your body relaxes again.

Relax. Relax. No control. Relax.


Concentrate on my voice. Only on my voice. Relax. Listen to my voice. Only my voice. Relax.

Relax. No control. Relax.

Only my voice. Relax. Relax. Nothing but my voice. Relax. Relax.

Let your body float. Relax. Relax. Floating so free. Relax. Relax.

Calm and free. Relax. Relax. No control. No control.

Breathe in, and out. Relax more, and more. Relax. Relax. No control. No control.




With every breath, relax even more. Breathe in, breathe out. Feel so relaxed.

Going deeper. Deeper. Relaxing deeper. Deeper. Relax. Relax. No control. No control.

You want to go deeper. Deeper. You must go deeper. Deeper. More relaxed. More relaxed. Deeper. Deeper.

So deep. So relaxed. So deep. So relaxed. Relax. Relax. No control. No control.

Only my voice. No control. No control. Deeper, and deeper. Relax. Relax.

Going so deep. Relax. Relax. Deeper, and deeper. Relax. Relax.

You must go down deeper. Relax. Relax. Deeper, and deeper. No control. No control.

Relax. Relax. No control. Relax.

Feel your groin open. Relax. Relax. Opening wider. No control. No control.

Feel yourself open. Relax. Relax. Opening wider. Relax. Relax.

Opening up. Relax. Relax. Opening more. Relax. Relax.

Opening wider. Relax. Relax. Opening wider. Relax. Relax.

No control. Relax. Relax. No control. Relax. Relax. No control. No control.



You want no control. Relax. Relax. Opening wider. Relax. Relax.

You must relax more. No control. No control. You want no control. No control. No control.

No bladder control. No control. No control. Not any control. No control. No control.

Opening wider. No control. No control. Opening wider. No control. No control.

You cannot control. No control. No control. You can never control. No control. No control.

You will not control. No control. No control. You cannot control. No control. No control.

You want no control. No control. No control. You want no control. No control. No control.

You cannot control. No control. No control. You will not control. No control. No control.



Your muscles are open. Relax. Relax. So very wide open. Relax. Relax.

You cannot control them. Relax. Relax. So very wide open. Relax. Relax.

You cannot control them. No control. No control. You will not control them. No control. No control.

You can't ever close them. No control. No control. You can't even feel them. No control. No control.

Your muscles are open. Relax. Relax. You have no control there. Relax. Relax.

You want no control there. No control. No control. You cannot control them. No control. No control.

You don't want to feel them. No control. No control. You don't want control there. No control. No control.

You want to stay open. Relax. Relax. You don't want control there. Relax. Relax.

You have to stay open. Relax. Relax. You have no control there. Relax. Relax.

You want no control there. Relax. Relax. You cannot control there. Relax. Relax.



You want to pee freely. No control. No control. You cannot control that. No control. No control.

You cannot control pee. Relax. Relax. You have no control there. Relax. Relax.

You will not control there. No control. No control. You will pee whenever. No control. No control.

You love peeing freely. No control. No control. You love no control there. No control. No control.



You will never know it. No control. No control. You won't ever feel it. No control. No control.

You won't feel your bladder. No control. No control. You won't feel it filling. No control. No control.

You won't even realize. No control. No control. When you have to go there. No control. No control.

You'll love peeing freely. Relax. Relax. Without any control there. Relax. Relax.

You will never know it. No control. No control. You'll just pee whenever. No control. No control.

You won't even worry. Relax. Relax. It will not concern you. Relax. Relax.

It's not your concern now. Relax. Relax. It's just going to happen. No control. No control.

It's just what you want now. No control. No control. It's all for the best now. Relax. Relax.

You won't ever feel it. No control. No control. The need will not hit you. Relax. Relax.

You pee without knowing. No control. No control. The need won't exist now. Relax. Relax.

You cannot control it. No control. No control. You won't ever know it. Relax. Relax.



You just feel relaxed there. Relax. Relax. You just feel so open. Relax. Relax.

You have no control there. No control. No control. You just let it happen. Relax. Relax.

The feelings so good now. Relax. Relax. To have no control there. Relax. Relax.

Your body feels good now. Relax. Relax. To just pee whenever. No control. No control.

You love how it feels now. Relax. Relax. To pee without knowing. No control. No control.

Your muscles are open. Relax. Relax. So very wide open. Relax. Relax.

You want them so open. Relax. Relax. You never will close them. Relax. Relax.

You have no control now. No control. No control. You cannot control them. No control. No control.

It's just how it should be. No control. No control. It's just how it will be. No control. No control.

It's just how it is now. No control. No control. You have no control now. No control. No control.




You feel yourself floating. No control. No control. It feels just so good now. Relax. Relax.

Your body feels great now. Relax. Relax. To have no control now. No control. No control.

You feel so much better. Relax. Relax. You feel so refreshed now. Relax. Relax.

You start breathing deeper. Relax. Relax. You start feeling bolder. No control. No control.

You feel just so good now. Relax. Relax. You have no control now. No control. No control.

You're feeling so happy. No control. No control. Your muscles wide open. No control. No control.

That's just how they'll stay now. No control. No control. You can't ever close them. No control. No control.



You don't have control now. No control. No control. That's just how it should be. No control. No control.

That's just how you want it. No control. No control. That's just how it will be. No control. No control.

You'll carry this message. No control. No control. Where ever you go now. No control. No control.

You'll always remember. No control. No control. You don't have control now. No control. No control.

And when you awake. No control. No control. You'll still be wide open. No control. No control.

You won't feel your bladder. No control. No control. You won't feel it filling. No control. No control.

You don't have control now. No control. No control. You'll pee without knowing. No control. No control.

You'll love peeing freely. No control. No control. You'll love the not knowing. No control. No control.



It's time to awake now. No control. No control. It's time to get going. No control. No control.

You're feeling so good now. No control. No control. You pee without knowing. No control. No control.

Open your eyes now. No control. No control. And just breathe in deeply. No control. No control.

You're feeling refreshed now. No control. No control. And always remember. No control. No control.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you wear plastic pants over your diapers? I don't remember reading that in your writing. You should wear them for the crinkling noise that I love.

SometimesSpanked said...

Omg...how exciting! I haven't seen you post the sound file here... have/would you?
:)