For the most part, I thought yesterday was a fairly dull day, but now that I think back about it, I was really very busy. The morning wasn’t much fun because I had a ton of yard work to do. Although doing it in diapers did make it a bit more fun, I really wasn’t thinking about them too much. I had listened to my hypnotizing file again right after I showered and changed into fresh diapers, which left me completely relaxed as usual. But my first job of the morning was to replace a bunch of seals on our pump which took me a frustrating two hours. I wasn’t exactly thinking about my diapers or having to pee or not. You can imagine my surprise when I finished and realized my diapers were fairly soaked. Then it was onto the lawn mower for another two hours of finishing the lawn. It was getting really hot by the time I finished and I was ready to call it a day.
I had planned on going shopping around noon and I actually left just a little after that. I had to take another shower/diaper change/file listening break first. I headed to Target this time and looked around first, then went and got a cart because I saw a few things I liked. I picked up a great little skirt that I really love, a top to go with it that despite being marked as large is still to tight on me, and a pair of very girly jeans. Then over to the shoes. Oh my, what a great collection of cute shoes. I don’t get into Target very often so I don’t really keep up on what they have. Lots of nice shoes that I liked, just none in my size – very frustrating. The top shelves with most of the larger sizes were mostly empty.
So I paid for my other things and headed to Payless shoes. Unfortunately, there were three other women shopping in the size 10 aisle, but I did my best to ignore them and searched the rack diligently for anything that caught my eye. I wound up buying a pair of flats (as per Dani’s suggestion) and a pair of orange wedges with a 3 ¾ inch heel. Nobody even looked twice at me - that I really know of. When I went to check out, the sales girl gushed about how popular the orange shoes were and what a good choice I had made for someone. I didn’t have the courage to tell her that someone was me. Then it was on to Wal-Mart to buy myself an mp3 player to make listening to my files easier.
Isn’t dress-up fun? Trying on all the new clothes? It is (and was) for me. Unfortunately the top I bought is too tight and the orange shoes, while I can wear them, are too tight too. Maybe if I wear them the straps will stretch out a bit. Right now, they’re just cutting into my feet.
I’m afraid I just laid around most of the day after that, watching TV, reading, and listening to my files. I did do my fingernails though. My big plan was to go out about 9:30 at night to get gas in the car with my nails done and wearing my new girly jeans. But what do they say about the best laid plans? I fell asleep on the couch while watching TV and it was after midnight when I woke up. I was more than a bit tired so I just changed into my night diapers and went to bed. But for some reason, I couldn’t go to sleep. And the longer I laid there, the hornier I was getting. I’m really starting to think I’d like to at least be able to play with myself for a bit.
Oh, anyway I must have been really more tired than I thought because on the spur of the moment, I threw all caution to the wind and got dressed in my new jeans, a male shirt over it, then I put on my 4 inch heels that strap around my ankles. My jeans don’t have any “useful” pockets, just a lot of fancy stitching so I took a quick look at my wife’s purses, but decided that I wasn’t really going to be carrying enough stuff to need one. Then I went out and got in the car and drove up the road.
The gas station I had chosen (ahead of time) is on a very busy highway, just off of the interstate. There are two other gas stations around it and all of them are usually fairly busy. But it was now almost 1 in the morning and I was hoping that they would all be fairly empty. How wrong can I get? As I pulled into the station, my heart gave a couple of extra beats as I saw two other cars at the pumps. But I drove on in and pulled up to the pump on the very end – where I felt I would be the least seen. I’m so glad that pump was open. As soon as I turned the engine off and reached for the door handle, I almost panicked and drove off again. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I bravely opened the door and stepped out in my heels and jeans. I was really worried about the noise my heels make on the concrete. Not exactly silence. But I quickly got behind the pump and inserted my credit card (which I had grabbed before I left the car) and got down to the business at hand. The gas pumps themselves were my major saving grace. As I stood there waiting for my tank to fill, I did my best to just stand and look bored, like I usually would. Well, actually, I usually would be cleaning the windshield, but I wasn’t about to go that far this time.
I had a slight moment of panic when the driver at the next pump over went into the store and came out again, but I don’t think he hardly even glanced at me. Even though I was wearing heels and very girly jeans, the jeans still look like regular pants – if you barely glance at them from a distance. And the jeans were also long enough to cover most of my shoes. As I looked down, I could just see the toes of my shoes sticking out under the bottom of the jeans. I don’t think you can see much more than the very bottom of the heels either. Of course my nail polish was so shiny that it was practically glowing in the bright lights, but I was doing my best to ignore that along with everything else.
Over fifty dollars later, I put the pump back up and waited for my credit card receipt, praying all the time the receipt printer would work. There was no way I was going to walk across that big parking lot and into the store after a gas receipt. I got back into the car and drove home. Safe and sound and nobody knew anything. I was very relieved – and yet, I was also a bit let-down. It was almost a non-event. I guess mostly because it was late and I was tired. Would I do it again? I really don’t know.
So that’s my tale for the day. Did I cop out in a few places like staying behind the gas pump and not walking around to be seen more? Probably. But I don’t think my main purpose in any of this is to cause anybody else alarm. I don’t really know what my real purpose in doing this is, except to try to do something normal, while expressing just a little bit of the girl inside me. An impossible task as always.