It has now been over two weeks since I’ve had an orgasm. In fact, I think it’s been over two weeks since I’ve been able to even get hard. For the last few days, I’ve found myself thinking about it more and more. I would like to get hard, but all these layers of diapers won’t let me get more than a slight swelling – especially when they’re wet and bulky.
At the same time, I don’t want to get hard and I don’t want any kind of orgasm because I don’t want to lose this incredible feeling inside of me. I don’t even want to edge and dribble a bit because that might diminish the thrill.
But just getting hard would feel so good. To experience all the wonderful sexual drive that accompanies it. To let my body reach toward that release that it craves.
But remaining as I am feels so good too. The delicious humiliation of knowing I can’t experience what I’ve done practically every other day of my life. The incredible feeling of control that has been forced upon me. The slight yearning for what I can’t have has become a sweet, sweet nectar.
But I’ve had an orgasm nearly every other day of my life. My body requires it. It fills me with power and brings the entire world back into focus where I can fully concentrate on the business of the day.
But not having an orgasm keeps me in the delicious state where I am now. Where I’m starting to crave humiliation more and more. Where I’m sinking more and more into the forbidden waters.
No solution for now, except to let chastity win.
Dani has suggested that I can wear black pantyhose with no socks to work and get away with it. Unfortunately, Mistress Gina agrees. Double unfortunately, I just don’t see how I can. I usually wear black pantyhose under my clothes to work, and even two pair still look very shimmery and seem to scream “He’s wearing pantyhose!” I think I’d need at least three or four pairs to get to where you can’t see any of the hair on my legs even through all the pantyhose. All I can say about this one is that I’ll have to think about it. I need to replace some of my pantyhose now anyway, maybe I’ll get a few extra pair and experiment with it a bit.
I’m hoping to do a bit of girly shopping tonight if I can. I’ve actually been looking forward to it for days, but I’ve been too busy. Life, life, life! I would dearly love to have a really nice casual skirt – top combination to wear. Of course there are a lot of other things I would dearly like to have too. I’ll just have to see what I can find.